The Albion FC

Slater soon to be star of “St Georges Day II” – “Has anyone got a knife?”

Two decidedly different games to report on…

GAME 1

The first being a Frank Blunstone cup quarter final played away somewhere south of Croydon (Mordor?). Albion getting a “propa spanking” and losing 5-2, this is despite being only one goal down at half time.

As a result, the quality on show was severely lacking. Aleks’ picked up a solitary vote for MOM, however following his 2 goal performance; Will Carlile wins the first of two MOM awards with 6 votes.

I should start the “Henri Leconte” award by letting everyone know that Walter asked for this to be suspended, given the fact he beat his own record for lateness – despite deliberately “leaving early” and the game being an afternoon kick-off.

Strangely, despite Walter’s worries he picked up no votes but the same cannot be said of the next games vote.

The “winner” was the bowed legged, swaggering, flap cap wearing, “Mike Bassett” impersonating opposition manager – who seemed to get under everyone’s skin with a host of habits including his one man chant of “Lions, Lions, Lions…”

GAME 2

Unfortunately, the second game also ended in defeat. This time the score being much closer at 3-2 and with the Albion having been 2-0 up at half time. Alek’s again received one vote, along with Joe and Will Carlile and in second place Will Slater picked up 2 votes.

This week’s MOM winner with 5 votes and a fine forward display was full debutant Marcus.

There were plenty of incidents worthy of the week’s “Henri Leconte” award. Last week’s winner got a mention, however even he could not upstage the others, including an own goal described by Rich Evans as, “the best own goal I’ve seen in a game I’ve been involved in”.

Granted it was a 30 yard belter, but Rich is yet to witness a Slater back post special.

Possibly trying to distract attention away from himself, Walter voted for Don with no reason given. Despite this Walter came in second with 3 votes for being even later than the week previous and despite emailing me to apologise for the aforementioned lateness, promising to “never be late again”.

Thankfully, he’s a legend of a keeper but I’m not sure how Jade will handle this when he’s back.

The winner and my favourite for a very long time was Will Slater.

After game and potentially suicidal following defeat or maybe looking for revenge on the opposition, Will ran anger faced to the touchline venomously spitting, “Has anyone got a knife?”

Momentarily, concerned for their own safety as well as Will’s everyone was too scared to answer. That was until Rich Evans produced a new pair of scissors from the grooming compartment in his kit bag, that the absent Jindy would have been proud of.

For the record, no Slater’s, children or animals were harmed - the scissors were used to cut the trapped net away from the goal post.