Dan Roberts

Attacker

Dan RobertsHe’s done more porridge than Goldilocks and the three bears put together. Currently serving a ten stretch at the Albion without the possibility of parole. Meet the man who’s famous… in Belgium.

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Name: Dan Roberts

Nicknames: Dandy Boy / Dog Rapist / Statham

Age: 35

Height:  5 8ish – does that sound right?

Previous clubs: Chiltern  (and Cherry Red 5-aside)

Club you support:  Nottingham Forest

Favourite food:  Seafood or a nice greasy Philly cheese steak

Favourite filmFletch

Favourite TV programme:  The Wire

Favourite player: Johnny Metgod. The greatest ever bald footballer – his famous free kick against West Ham was amazing (even accounting for Phil Parkes’ arthritis)

Player you are most like: Nigel Clough (although Vil says Francesco Totti…and he should know)

Do you have any non Albion nicknames: Skill Dan, Disco Dan, Danny Champagne

It is alledged that you never celebrated the goals of Albion legend Matt Greensmith goal, is this true: A heinous lie circulated by Matt. Seeing as I made most of his goals, why would I not celebrate them?

Best subject at school: History. Although I am highly knowledgeable when it comes to flags of the world

You are obviously one-half of the Roberts football dynasty. Which pair of famous footballing brothers are you most like. The Charlton’s, the De Boer’s, or the Fashanu’s?: i’m appalled by the unnecessary apostrophes – coming from supposed intellectual Will. The Roberts brothers are like no other…although we did famously play in a Chiltern side including 4 sets of brothers including fellow Albion legend Tim Wright. And me and Jon are only continuing the Roberts footballing dynasty – our dad once played in the FA Cup

Superstitions: Never listen to Stevie Wonder on the morning of a match

Career highlight: So many to choose from – winning the league and being top goalscorer in the same season while at school, player of the season for the Albion…or being asked for an autograph in Belgium whilst on a tour when I was 15.

Favourite music: early 90s hip hop

Other job: Interactive Operations Co-ordinator. I work on the red button stuff for the BBC

Most skilful player / showboater (at Albion): Vil. Although when a Neale special turn comes off its like the 7 wonders of the world…in 1

If you had a sister, which Albiones would you not you let her date and why: Jon, obviously. I’d also be wary of sexually confident Neale and the future heartbreak that Dave would give her when he finally comes out

Who will win Euro 2008: Holland look good

Favourite football game of all-time: Subbuteo. Although Sensible Soccer was the shit

Favourite drink: Free Kronenbergs

Cage fight to the death, Duncan vs Jade, who wins: I would love to see this. I think Jade’s awesome power would win out in the end, unless Dunc used his far superior fitness to tire the big man out

Pre-match meal:  On a sunday its usually a snickers bar and a lucozade. It used to be bananas but not since i had to get my brother to stop driving so I could throw up on the Wandsworth Road. I’m not sure if it was a dodgy batch of bananas or the copious amounts of alcohol the night before that did it. But i have given up the bananas

Favourite football punditLaura Esposito – I’d like to see her analyse my positioning

Most annoying Southern Sunday ref: They’re all as bad as each other although the midget who had a go at me because he thought i looked like I was about to argue with him probably takes that award. Theyre all cvnts though

Pin-up: Eva Mendes

Pick your all-time greatest team: Neville Southall (although Rene Higuita deserves a mention for brilliant soul-glo hair and fantastic drug consumption – NB doing drugs is wrong though, right kids!) – Stuart Pearce, Des Walker, Fabio Cannavaro, Javier Zanetti – Johnny Metgod, Nigel Clough, Socrates, Ryan Giggs – Diego Maradona, George Best

He’s done more porridge than Goldilocks and the three bears put together. Currently serving a ten stretch at the Albion without the possibility of parole. Meet the man who’s famous… in Belgium.

Name: Dan Roberts
Age: 35
Height:  5 8ish – does that sound right?
Previous clubs: Chiltern  (and Cherry Red 5-aside)
Club you support:  Nottingham Forest
Favourite food:  Seafood or a nice greasy Philly cheese steak
Favourite filmFletch
Favourite TV programme:  The Wire
Favourite player: Johnny Metgod. The greatest ever bald footballer – his famous free kick against West Ham was amazing (even accounting for Phil Parkes’ arthritis)
Player you are most like: Nigel Clough (although Vil says Francesco Totti…and he should know)
Do you have any non Albion nicknames: Skill Dan, Disco Dan, Danny Champagne
It is alledged that you never celebrated the goals of Albion legend Matt Greensmith goal, is this true: A heinous lie circulated by Matt. Seeing as I made most of his goals, why would I not celebrate them?
Best subject at school: History. Although I am highly knowledgeable when it comes to flags of the world
You are obviously one-half of the Roberts football dynasty. Which pair of famous footballing brothers are you most like. The Charlton’s, the De Boer’s, or the Fashanu’s?: i’m appalled by the unnecessary apostrophes – coming from supposed intellectual Will. The Roberts brothers are like no other…although we did famously play in a Chiltern side including 4 sets of brothers including fellow Albion legend Tim Wright. And me and Jon are only continuing the Roberts footballing dynasty – our dad once played in the FA Cup
Superstitions: Never listen to Stevie Wonder on the morning of a match
Career highlight: So many to choose from – winning the league and being top goalscorer in the same season while at school, player of the season for the Albion…or being asked for an autograph in Belgium whilst on a tour when I was 15.

Favourite music: early 90s hip hop
Other job: Interactive Operations Co-ordinator. I work on the red button stuff for the BBC
Most skilful player / showboater (at Albion): Vil. Although when a Neale special turn comes off its like the 7 wonders of the world…in 1
If you had a sister, which Albiones would you not you let her date and why: Jon, obviously. I’d also be wary of sexually confident Neale and the future heartbreak that Dave would give her when he finally comes out
Who will win Euro 2008: Holland look good
Favourite football game of all-time: Subbuteo. Although Sensible Soccer was the shit
Favourite drink: Free Kronenbergs
Cage fight to the death, Duncan vs Jade, who wins: I would love to see this. I think Jade’s awesome power would win out in the end, unless Dunc used his far superior fitness to tire the big man out
Pre-match meal:  On a sunday its usually a snickers bar and a lucozade. It used to be bananas but not since i had to get my brother to stop driving so I could throw up on the Wandsworth Road. I’m not sure if it was a dodgy batch of bananas or the copious amounts of alcohol the night before that did it. But i have given up the bananas
Favourite football punditLaura Esposito – I’d like to see her analyse my positioning
Most annoying Southern Sunday ref: They’re all as bad as each other although the midget who had a go at me because he thought i looked like I was about to argue with him probably takes that award. Theyre all cvnts though
Pin-up: Eva Mendes
Pick your all-time greatest team: Neville Southall (although Rene Higuita deserves a mention for brilliant soul-glo hair and fantastic drug consumption – NB doing drugs is wrong though, right kids!) – Stuart Pearce, Des Walker, Fabio Cannavaro, Javier Zanetti – Johnny Metgod, Nigel Clough, Socrates, Ryan Giggs – Diego Maradona, George Best

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