Neale Scott

NealeScottNeale talks about liquidised McMuffins, sexual confidence, and why Davina McCall would get it, but only once a year.






Name: Neale Scott
Height: 5ft 9 and a half.  The half is very important.  Surprisingly decent in the air.
Previous clubs: Staplehurst Monarchs (U10 – U18), Knoxbridge Pub, various School teams and represented the county.
Club you support: Manchester United with a fondness for Real Betis
Favourite food: I do like a good steak, medium rare.  As a luxury I’d plump for Oysters.  Night before a game would be Janelle’s Spaghetti alla Putanesca.
Favourite film: Too many to mention but I’ll plump for One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest.
Favourite TV programme: The Wire or Twin Peaks back in the day (I had a crush on Sherilyn Fenn)
Favourite player:  Favourite United player was Mark Hughes.  One of the best first touches I’ve ever seen and a spectacular goals montage to rival anyone. Hughes bridged some very average United teams to one of the best.  Hughes was a very intelligent and unselfish forward who adapted his game for the good of the team.  Solksjaer deserves a mention for being a true legend, Lee Sharpe for getting me off my seat for the first time in years as a United fan and Cantona for just being Cantona.
Favourite all time player was probably Michel Platini.  Elegant and classy in everything he did.  We’ll look past his current UEFA Presidency.
Do I get to mention my least favourite player?  It’s a toss up between Keown, Lauren, Vieira, Lehmann, Reyes, Ashley Cole, Pires, Henry, Bergkamp (class though), Winterburn, Dixon, Bould or Petit.
Player you are most like: I still regard my best position as a holding midfielder so I’d like to say Roy Keane but I’m probably more like Nicky Butt or Remi Moses without any pace whatsoever.  Maybe Marcos Senna in the modern day.
Dan recently likened me to De Rossi of Roma which I was pleased with. He took it back though. Laura (Dave’s Mrs) has likened me to Gary Neville which I was less pleased with.  I’m a United fan and although Neville is United through and through he’s a very odd character; or as the mighty Jaap Stam put it, “He’s a busy c**t.”
Do you have any non Albion nicknames: Yes I am also known as Manchild.  I’m not sure exactly why but it came from a lads holiday in Turkey.  I think it’s to do with me being fairly indecisive and also getting a bit ratty when I’m tired or hungover.  The use of Manchild is usually followed with a rendition of Neneh Cherry’s eerie Manchild tune.  Manchild is often fondly shortened to Manch.
Best subject at school: English probably although I enjoyed Geography as a kid.  An Atlas is still my book of choice.
Superstitions: I don’t think I have any.  I like the Stevie Wonder song though.
Career highlight: Playing wise probably representing the county at 16 (at left back).  I’ve won a couple of player of the year awards in my time.  First one was at the age of 14 when I played up front.  Over 30 goals in 15 games.  I also won a player of the year award in senior  football at the age of 18.  In terms of the Albion it would probably be the cup final or keeping the team from being relegated but see the Albion highlights question.

Getting sent off for the Albion along with best friend Matt Greensmith and then both of us being sent from the touchline is certainly a highlight as was getting sent off whilst running the line in a 6-6 draw.  To this day I swear all 6 of their goals were offside.  All of my deflected long range goals have been talking points and there are fair few tackles I’m proud of. 

Lovingly being called a “mouthy c**t” by one armed ref Cyril who also likened me to himself as a young man was also a proud moment.  He had just sent me off and given the opposition a penalty with a minute to go.

You were Albion’s manager for many years, what were the highlights from that tumultuous era:  There are a few.  The obvious answer would be leading Albion to a cup final at Sutton United.  The performance in the semi final, especially by the back 4 of J Roberts, Farrow, Rigby and Slater was one of the best I’ve been involved with.  I think we could have played all day without letting a goal in.  To see the celebrations of team mates and more importantly Roger was a real high.  Matt Greensmith still declares that his winning goal is the only goal of his I’ve ever celebrated.

The final itself was a great occasion although I still have mixed feelings about the team I picked.  Picking a starting 11 certainly wasn’t a highlight.  In hindsight I think my heart ruled my head but that’s not necessarily a bad thing at this level.  I don’t think the eventual result would have changed though.  The second half performance was pure Albion and showed how important team mates working for each other are in overcoming seemingly superior opposition.  It’s a pleasure and an inspiration in the hussle and bustle of a game to look around and see a squad of friends you can rely on fighting alongside you.  Only Albion could have celebrated a final loss the way we did that day.  Drinking the blood of Albion in various Clapham pubs all day will live with me forever.

From a management point of view another highlight was keeping Albion up.  Sunday League football is difficult enough without a regular keeper and one season we really struggled.  My change to an extremely boring but effective 4-3-2-1 (an El Tel Christmas Tree) for the last 3 months of the season was integral to us picking up enough points to stay up.  It wasn’t pretty but we were shipping far too many goals losing 3-2, 4-3, 5-4 too regularly.  I feel I made a difficult decision at the right time.

Roger has lost confidence in Jade and the players want the old crosses and volleys warm-up brought back. Could you ever be tempted back as manager:  Firstly I’d like to take this opportunity to say I think Jade is doing a grand job.  Due to me moving to Australia it’s unlikely.  I would consider emailing team talks and inspirational half time chats but I think the Albion deserves a more hands on manager.  I’m still a great advocate of the crosses and volleys warm up but maybe it’s had its day. You have to remember I managed a team often without a keeper or with Irish Pat in goal. It was important to ensure that whoever was in the nets was warmed up.  Blasting balls from 15 yards for 20 mins was key in this.  Managing an Irish jockey that refused to wear gloves unless it was to pick up his can of Fosters in the goal required some inventive warm up drills. 
I would like to get back in to management at some point and harbour a dream of creating Albion Melbourne.  I think I’ve got an eye for a player and an understanding of systems and tactics that would add something to most teams.  For now I am enjoying just playing and being one of the lads again. My punditry down the Alex on a Sunday afternoon keeps me occupied so until those commitments are fulfilled it’s unlikely you will see me back in management.  Management goes in cycles and I think my cycle as Albion manager is probably over.  I was lucky to have a talented group of players that I could bring to the club to significantly improve the team.  I think Jade has seen us through a difficult transitional phase and I can see the foundations of another great Albion team being built.
Favourite music: A cop out I know but I like all sorts.  There’s a time and a place for most styles of music with the exception of modern R&B and UK Garage which are, in general, shite.  I’m a big fan of Soul, Northern Soul and Funk plus I’m a big Prince fan.  Being a 33 year old English lad I’m also partial to the standard guitar led indie bands of the North.  The Stone Roses, Oasis, The Verve, The Charlatans, Doves, The Smiths, New Order etc.
Other job: Business Consultant/Business Analyst
How do you psyche yourself up for Albion games: The Rocky Soundtrack, The Stone Roses (usually Ten Storey Love song) or Oasis (Slide Away) on my Ipod.  I also like to visualise my first tackle of a game, “Man and ball, man and ball, man and ball” repeat to self.
Best piece of footballing advice: If you’re going to go out the night before I suggest you get wasted.  I find I feel and play worse if I have had 3-4 drinks on a Saturday night as opposed to an all day session followed with no sleep.

Enjoy playing the game.  I would give up watching United if it meant I could play.  Sounds obvious but as soon as it becomes a chore take a long hard look at yourself as you’ll be found out.

Think twice about passing to John Stanley in your own half.

If you had a sister, which Albiones would you not you let her date and why: I don’t have a sister but it would be a difficult choice if I did.  It might be easier to say which Albiones I would let her date.  Ok I’d rule out the married, the soon to be married, fathers and any Arsenal fans for obvious reasons.

I’d probably plump for Vilem as I don’t think his potty mouth would go down too well with my Mum… “Hi Brian and Rosemary you sausage munchers”

You have quit the Albion many times over the year, what has been your favourite resignation: I’m not proud of it but I guess it would have to be the kitchen sink incident.  I don’t fully remember but it was a difficult season and that coupled with a raging hangover culminated in me subbing myself and storming off mid way through the first half of a game.  At the time I was struggling to renovate my flat and fit in weekend football etc.  After some fairly constant moaning from the sidelines by our own subs I decided that if they thought they could do better than let them.  I had to go and order a sink that afternoon anyway so I thought fvck it I’ll do it now.  By the time I had changed and reached my car I realised I had over reacted and let people down. I drove back to the pitch and watched the second half secretly from my car (it was pissing down).  At the end of the game I went and sorted my sink and went back to the Alex to see the lads and apologise.  I don’t think I have ever actually resigned as such.
Favourite football game of all-time: Probably United away at Juventus in CL semi 99.  This is as much to do with watching the best single performance by a player I’ve ever seen in Roy Keane.  United were 2-0 down within 11 minutes until Keane decided enough was enough and dragged every single one of his teammates with him whether they liked it or not, despite being booked and knowing he’d miss the final.  It’s a team game and that’s how to take a booking.  You make sure you don’t let the other 10 down, not like the crying Gascoigne.
Favourite drink: Half a Rolinck lager, preferably supped on a Sunday afternoon out the front of Gasthof Meyer.  I’m partial to the cherry schnapps that quickly follows the half a Rolinck.  I also like a good full bodied red wine, preferably New World.
As a sexually confident man, what advice do you have for some of Albion’s more sexually timid players: Don’t listen to Jades advice on “trim”.  Be decisive and talk with authority even if you have no idea what you’re talking about.
Pre-match meal: Sausage and Egg McMuffin.  Lucozade should liquidise it and sell it in bottles.  A great source of man fuel.
Worst football pundit:  Garth Crooks.  The man is a weirdo.
Most annoying Southern Sunday ref: The fella that sent Matt and I off in the same game was bad.  So openly biased but he doesn’t ref any more.  I’d have to say the head of the refs association.  Truly awful and seems to have no love or passion for the game of football, quite sad really. I miss Cyril, he wasn’t a great ref but at least you could have some banter with him.  Hassan wasn’t bad either, magnificent moustache.
Pin-up: Salma Hayek or Natalie Imbruglia.  Sherilyn Fenn in Twin Peaks but I imagine she’s a casualty now.  Davina McCall once a year as well.
Pick your all-time greatest team: Blaney (GK), J Roberts (RB), W Slater (LB), Farrow (CB), Lauder (CB), Mann (CM), McPhee (CM), Rigby (CM), D Roberts (RM), Blanchard (LM), Greensmith(CF)


Schmeichal (GK),Cafu(RB), Pearce(LB), Baresi (CB), Kohler (CB), Zidane (RM), Platini (CM), Keane (CM), Cruyff (LM), Maradona (CF), Van Basten/Romario (CF).

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