Champions, First Division, 1984/85 Champions, First Division, 1991/92 Champions, First Division, 2010/11 Champions, Buenner Cup, 2000

Albion General Manager, Jade Barker has been sensationally caught on camera discussing ways to “get around” the SSF League player registration system. Whilst drinking copious amounts of “Ocean Spray” cranberry juice, Barker is filmed saying, “It’s easy. You just log on, make up a name and add a picture of a random bloke. Job done.” Adding further, “I used a picture of Stevie Wonder and the name “Bill Blaney”, no one batted an eyelid”.

Albion midfield stalwart has hit out at the makers of “FIFA 17”, at what he believes to be inaccurate ratings for his profile. “Pace 10! Too high. Strength 9! Too high. Passing 13. OK, fair enough”.

Sondico CEO had this to say, “Here at Sondico are core values are mediocrity and poor quality. We feel that Simon Abbott is the personification of these values and are delighted to have him on board.” Adding, “And he’s got fantastic hair”. The £4.50 deal is reputed to include a year’s supply of kit to the value of £10.99.