The world of football, in particular Southern Sunday League right wingers, are in mourning at the news Albion left-back Will Slater is hanging up his boots.
“The Ginger Prince†is retiring to focus on his Exploding Helicopter site, drone music and all things brown.
Slater spent over 15 years trudging through the pitches of Clapham Common picking up several pieces of “plasticware†along the way, including “Players Player†and a league medal. Slater will go down in Southern Sunday League history as being the highest scoring left back in league history with 5 own goals to his name and an infamous back post equaliser against Southbank FC.
Albion legend Vilem Palac recently spoke of Slater, “He’s a f*cking sausage muncher, innit. He should have switched iiiit moreâ€.
“Big Ron†Atkinson had this to say, “Tell you what Clive, I’ve seen quite a lot of good ginger left backs in my time but he just might be the best. Throws it further than I go on holiday, always looks to give it the full gun towards the second post and isn’t afraid to pull out a lollipop when he needs to.”
Adding, “Will Slater??!? Never heard of him Clive, I thought we were talking about David Burrowsâ€.
In true Slater style, Will refused to comment.