When Albion keeper Bill “Meola” Blaney took a ball from the foot of the attacking Westminster Wanderer striker on Sunday, spectators stirred restlessly as he curled up on ground. “Bill is just trying to be dramatic,” quoted one bystander, “just like he intentionally took out that player so he could save the penalty kick.” Unfortunately, that was not the case (this time). Â Having received a kick to his right hand, Blaney’s ring finger was dislocated at the second knuckle. Â Perhaps fueled by his own recent struggle with his disturbingly short tendons, Will Slater described the event with the flattering statement, “He popped it back in, taped it up, put his glove back on, played the second half. Albion legend.”
Albion legend indeed. But what are the repurcusions of this injury for the Albion? Post match, Vilem immediately commented on the situation, “Looks like he stook it up his arse, innit.” He followed that statement with a suggestion that he might fill in for the historically stalwart keeper in the next match, quoting an obscure Simon Stat about being the only Albion to both take and face a penalty kick in the same match.
Albion manager Jade Barker appeared unconcerned tho, perhaps even a bit excited. “Sheeeeeeeeeet, we’ll win our games with or without Blaney in goal. Â This team can accomplish anything if we stick together. Besides, this will open the door for other opportunities. I’ve played between the poles a few times in the past and had a fantastic time catching balls….perhaps I’ll go back to the Kaz – I mean, tend net again next week.”
Barker: "Maybe I can beat Blaney in FIFA 11 now."
It appears Albion may still see Blaney in action, even if his injured hand precludes him from assuming his regular position in goal. With numbers for this week’s Surrey Cup opening match alarmingly low, Barker is scraping the bottom of the barrel for players due to a rumoured “lad’s weekend”,  leading to a situation that is ripe for Blaney’s first appearance on the pitch during a regular season match.  “This appears to be a perfect storm, ” quipped Blaney, “exactly what would be needed for me to have this opportunity. I intend to take advantage of it…hell, if the Slaternator can score a goal, I should be able knock one in too, right?” Representatives of high street betting shop William Hill did not respond to queries on the odds for Blaney scoring on Sunday.