Lauder: Victim
Albion are once again in search of a new post match boozer after defender Stew Lauder became the victim of a credit card scam.
The fraud is believed to have taken place in The Duck pub with an unidentified member of staff suspected of taking details of Lauder’s card before making a series of online purchases. A club spokesman confirmed that players from the club would no longer frequent the establishment, “I can confirm that Albion are now officially boycotting The Duck. We will be taking our business elsewhere forewith.”
The boycott throws Albion’s post match plans into crisis. In recent years players of the club have led a nomadic post match existence due to the inadequate pub facilities in Clapham. Albion abandoned their long-term home The Alex in 2008 following a long standing greivance about the consistently poor service received in the pub.
The team moved to The Frog & Forget Me Not, however, it was never considered a satisfactory home. Not least when it was transformed by new owners into a pseudo bistro aimed at Clapham’s burgeoning population of slummy mummies and wanker hat wearing cocks.
A brief and disappointing spell in The Underdog lead to residency The Duck, however, it’s location in the arse-end of nowhere always provoked grumblings among players. It’s fall from grace now leaves the Albion homeless with precious few boozer options to pursue.