The Albion FC

McPhee: Likes conference calls, but not rota driven management systems.

Dave ‘Northern’ McPhee reports on Albion’s 4-3 cup win over Wynter.

As part of the Gaffer’s increasingly rota driven management style it has fallen to me to write this weeks match report.  Due to the joys of a last minute project conference call I only arrived at 10.30 and therefore cannot report on any of the pre-match build up, however, place any of the following words/phrases in a sentence and I’m sure it will be fairly accurate reflection on what occurred – “Barney sat in the wrong seat”; “Will touching his toes”; “Tights; gloves etc”; “And stuff”; “The Jon Roberts”……………..

So on to the game.  The Albion lined up in a classic 4-4-2, Baker in goal having recovered from a long standing toe injury; Dunc, Stew, Barney and Will making up the best back four in the league ; a midfield four of Vil, Jindy (captain), James and Nick with Rich and Steve up front.  Don and myself on the bench.
 
Despite the very windy conditions The Albion started fairly brightly and carved out three good opportunities in the opening exchanges with Vil, Steve and Jindy all going close but a free kick from Wynter that hit the bar was an early warning that the division 4 opposition shouldn’t be underestimated. 

Evans: 'hand of bacon'

Eventually however The Albion broke the deadlock, a long throw from Rich, James did what James does and won yet another near post flick on leaving it to the “Hand of Bacon” to claim a controversial, possibly illegal, opener.  So controversial in fact that it led to an outbreak of collective tourettes from Wynter who, led by their somewhat psychotic sub, launched what felt like a ten minute tirade against the ref, commenting on areas as wide ranging as his weight, sexuality, fitness and honesty.  Charming!!! 

Disappointingly following this break in play we lost our concentration/focus and started making sloppy mistakes culminating in a equaliser for Wynter, a ball that should have been cleared landed at the feet of their forward who hit a speculative shot, that Jade, despite his ten years experience and knowing The Albion goals are good two feet higher than regulation, let go confident it was clearing the bar only for it to drop in the top corner.  1 – 1.

Barker: Chilling silence

The rest of the half carried on in the same manner with a few chances created but the level of performance being less than we would expect from ourselves.  As halftime approached, and knowing how the gaffer can react even when we’re 5 – 0 up,  I was worried on behalf of my teammates that Jade’s reaction might not be the most jolly and he would unleash not just the hair-dryer but also the clippers and scissors.  However, in a piece of wonderful reverse psychology the first five minutes of halftime were held in a long, uncomfortable silence, followed by a calm explanation of what we needed to do to improve.  I don’t know about everyone else but this was scarier than the usual.  Jindy gave us a bollocking though.
 
Halftime seemed to have the desired effect and just at the start of the second half Rich latched onto a good long ball (by Dunc I think) and made it 2 -1.  This should have been the catalyst to kick on and put the game to bed but the same sloppiness crept into our game and before long it was back to 2 – 2, a cross into the box wasn’t dealt with, a little bit of pinball and the ball finally sneaked in off the forwards head.  Despite this setback the Albion rallied again and Rich claimed his second the game to make it 3 – 2 and surely now it was game over. 

But alas no, Wynter hit back when another ball in the box was gathered by, then dropped by, then gathered by, then dropped again by Jade at the foot of their attacker who looking a shoo-in to make it 3 – 3 was brought down by Jade.  Penalty! A penalty safely dispatched to make it 3 – 3.  Extra time now seemed a certainty, Don came on for Steve who again had put in the sort of effort a man of years really shouldn’t be putting in, but with just a few minutes remaining Rich broke free again and cooly made it 4 – 3.  Game over, at last!!!!!
 
So The Albion through to The Semis.  A fixture that has caused us plenty of heartbreak of the issues but This Albion are made of sterner stuff and confidence should be high that a final awaits.