Mann: Hapless skipper
Jindy Mann is set to be sensationally axed as captain after Albion’s Buenner Cup preparations went into “meltdownâ€. Club chairman Roger Soper is readying the axe after the team’s preparations were hit by a new injury bombshell. The sacking could open the way for a dramatic return to football for Ron Atkinson.
The day of drama began when Will Slater was ruled out of the Buenner Cup through injury. The vice-captain had been undergoing intensive rehab for his Achilles tendonitis. However, despite increased hamstring flexibility medical experts have vetoed a playing role for Slater. Despite being ruled out of the playing staff, Slater will be “on the planeâ€. The defender will travel as a player liaison – providing a link between management and the dressing room. The role will be combined with ambassadorial duties for Albion’s bid to host the Buenner in 2018.
As the news broke Soper was immediately informed onboard his luxury pedalo. The Ukranian billionaire has been holidaying off the shores of a Balham boating lake, however, he has been closely monitoring Albion’s preparations for the tournament. Club insiders have said that Soper has been increasingly unhappy with Mann’s stewardship of the squad.
Big Ron: Knows how to get the best out of alcoholic crocks
The Albion supremo is understood to have sounded out Ron Atkinson as a replacement. A club insider said: “Roge see’s Big Ron as the ideal candidate. His experience working with the heaviest drinking footballers of the 80s will be crucial.â€
The Manchester United legend has been critical of the Buenner Cup squad but could be tempted to take the role after Soper outlined a “sandwich plus cash†deal. The offer is believed to involve unlimited breakfast buffet access and a guarantee of a schnitzel buffet on Sunday evening.
Soper is keen to cut a deal and install the disgraced pundit in post quickly. A source close to Soper said: “He’ll need to be in place by the time the team touchdown in Bremen. If we can work to that schedule then Big Ron would have a day to work with the players and get to know the squad before getting down to business.â€
The sensational moves comes in response to a succession of problems with Albion’s preparations for the 2010 tournament. As soon as the squad was announced questions were raised about Mann’s decision to rely on figures from Albion’s “golden generation†– a now largely discredited group of unsuccessful, unfit, 30-somethings with questionable injury records. Mann has also been unable to dispel rumours that the players preparations for the tournament fall short of the professional standards the club maintains at home.
Mann has also failed to quash accusations that he has personally profited from the Buenner Cup. The midfielder holds the exclusive rights to Albion Buenner Cup merchandise and is believed to have made a “small fortune†from selling players inferior textile products at vastly inflated prices. Most notoriously Mann once passed off a batch of women’s t-shirts as official Albion merchandise.