They say the magic of the cup is dead. The League Cup has become a reserve team competition, and the FA Cup is nothing more than an inconvenience to be fitted in around the bloated, all consuming, beast that is the Premier League.
So, on the weekend of the FA Cup 3rd round, it was left to the Albion and their opponents Westminster Wanderers to prove the magic of the cup lives on. Even if it’s only within the unheralded environs of the Marcus Lipton Trophy.
Incredibly, the game almost didn’t happen. Weeks of heavy rain had made the pitch look like a cabbage patch. The centre of the pitch resembled the Somme, although the flanks were in still reasonably playable. The referee was less than enthusiastic about playing the game. However, in the unanimous view of the 22 men keen to shake off the post-Christmas footballing cobwebs, the pitch was perfectly playable. Even if, once out of earshot of the referee, there were grave whisperings that this pitch really wasn’t playable.
But anyway, it was game on, so the Albion lined up as: Barkello (GK), in defence, Donfather, Stew, Barns, Slaternator, a midfield of Milne, Buff Ralph, Joe, Evans, with Rich and Steve up top. On the bench: Bourne, and Aleks. There was also a good turn out of Albion Ultras with Matt, Bill and Dave in attendance.
Pemberton: Like a Volvo 240 Estate 2.3l
We kicked off. And despite the poor conditions a decent game off football broke out. Albion seemed to adapt most quickly to the conditions, bypassing the boggy midfield areas by exploiting the better playing surface on the wings through the Two Nicks. Judicious use of the long diagonal also paid dividends with Rich causing his usual havoc up front with his trademark “skidding Volvo estate†dribbling.
So to the first of many controversies in the game. Despite the bright start, Albion almost conceeded the first goal. A deep cross to the back post was headed past Barker in goal. But the referee disallowed it for pushing. I didn’t see it but I wasn’t going to argue.
Not long after though Albion were deservedly ahead. Can’t remember who played the through ball – might have been one of the Nick’s or Steve – but it was a lovely dink over the defender which allowed Rich to run through and finish first time past the keeper. 1 nil to the Albion.
From there, I’m a bit hazy on how the scoring went. But I think I can be forgiven for that due to the amount of drama within the match – more on that later. Suffice to say, and cutting a confused story short, by half time we’d managed to open up a 4-2 lead.
This was largely courtesy of a first half hat-trick by Steve. His first came after he chased down a long ball. He robbed the defender then slotted past the keeper. His second owed a lot to Rich who wangled some space and shot at the goal only to find his effort hold up in the mud. Fortunately, Steve was on hand to gobble up the chance like a greedy Shearer, bundling the ball home from fully 6 inches out – past the despairing dives of the Wanderers defenders.
Westminster though began to adapt to the conditions. And from here the game turned into an end-to-end contest with chances galore. Adding to the spectacle was the pitch which was giving both teams a lot to contend with. The centre of it was almost unplayable. Any ball along the ground would simply became stuck in the mud after 10 or 15 yards and the treacherous footing made any attempt to change direction entirely fruitless.
Intriguingly, despite the heavy conditions Nick Milne had chosen to play the game in moulds. This, though, didn’t seem to make any difference to his game as he seemed to skate over the cloggy surface like a pint-sized Torvill and Dean.
As if the pitch wasn’t adding enough drama to the match, the referee and part-time Dimitar Berbatov impersonator decided to get into the act by making decisions entirely at random. To the mystification of both sides goal kicks were given as corners and vice versa, and free kicks were given for seemingly arbitary reasons regardless of whether a foul had actuall been committed. Throw-ins provided a regular and continual source of bemusement to both teams with Berbaref initially adopting a ‘anything goes’ approach. However, just in case anyone might accuse of him of at least some form of consistency, he took a disliking to the Donfather’s throw-ins – even though they didn’t seem any better or worse than anybody elses.
Anyway, second half and Westminster made a couple of substitutions. The fresh legs seemed to work as Albion found themselves pegged back in their own half, with the first 20 minutes alone seeming to be played in my left back area. It looked like we were might ride out the pressure, but in told in the end and Westminster nicked one back 4-3.
McBaiden: Dedicated goal to his top fan, Dave McPhee
We’d still managed to create chances on the break. Shortly after one effort had hit the post, Albion restored their two goal lead when Ralph headed home a great cross from Nick Evans. Dave blew Ralph a kiss from the sidelines as he celebrated the goal. 5-3.
The game now became a succession of chances for both teams. The difference: Westminster took theirs, Albion didn’t. With the next round in sight Albion let the game slip away as Westminster managed to level up the score at 5-5 and take the game into extra time.
So into extra time and another 30 minutes for the muddy and tired limbs to get through. The pitch had taken one hell of a beating with the consistency and appearance of a chocolate cake mix. Unfortunately, that’s where comparisons end as the goey mud which made up the playing surface was giving off a stink worse than lorryload of slurry, or any toilet previously occupied by Jindy.
Despite the unsavoury nature of the mud, Stew had played the entire game as if he was on a one man mission to plough the field with slide tackles. By the end of the game the Stew was covered in so much mud that he had begun to resemble Arnold Schwarzenegger at the end of Predator.
Anyway, back to the game. Barny, Rich, Steve and Nick all had chances to win it, as did Westminster who were only denied by two last ditch tackles from Aleks, however, there was by some miracle no further score. Penalties it is.
Evans, Milne, Rich, Steve and Jim all stepped up for the Albion, with Evans being helpfully advised that this was one occasion where he didn’t need to perform a step-over before taking a shot. However, it wasn’t to be. Two Albion pens were saved, and despite Jade saving one and nearly pulling off a wonder save, we were on the wrong end of the shootout which finished 4-3.