The Albion FC

This week’s “Man of the Match” award saw Duncan’s cameo goal scoring striker appearance earn him third position with 1 vote. In second, was Will Carlisle with 3 votes for a midfield performance playing in the “Dave Role”. However, in joint first (and I’ve run out of “tighter than analogies” so will just say…) were Nick Milne and Stewart both with 4 votes a piece.

Worf – Shocked and angry to hear he’s rated as lowly as Gervinho.

Again this week’s “Henri Leconte” award received a whole host of differing votes, for a start the returning James received a vote for “having a real tan” – something which is sure to infuriate the absent perma-tanned  Joe Lambert.

The opposition received a couple of votes, the first for being bizarrely desperate to help out putting up one of the nets, yet looked like they’d never had to put one up before, finally managing to secure to the goalposts in a truly unconventional fashion. (We’re an ungrateful cynical bunch). Secondly, the opposition gaffer received a vote for shouting from the side-line at his own son in uncomplimentary terms.

Bill received a vote for his Tom Selleck moustache and we all know Henri Leconte wouldn’t be Henri Leconte without at least one mention for Jade. Well he got 2; the first vote was for “fracturing” his arm after about 5 minutes of being involved in the game – although we cannot be sure this wasn’t self sustained during a furious warm up “session” involving his Christina Hendricks photos.

Jade’s second vote came for the following football insight “”Is it me or are shinpads getting smaller these days”. Well the answer is evidently “NO”, as Duncan voted for himself due to laughing off suggestions before the game that anyone ever injures their shins and then duly managing to pick up a stress fracture on his shin bone.

This week’s winner though and possibly knowing the MOM award was going to be tight and therefore wanting at least one award to himself, was Nick Milne.

During the past years at the Albion we all became aware of Jade’s admiration of Star Trek after he fashionably sported a Star Trek pin. However, up until a post-match pint we were all unaware of Nick’s own knowledge and fascination with all things Star Trek. In particular knowing names of several characters and for knowing that it was “Worf” he thought looked like Gervinho, whilst the rest of us said “the one with the weird forehead”.

“Insert your own tired, boring and clichéd Star Trek joke here!”