Barker: Pondering what he'll set as his wallpaper
Albion will employ the latest cutting edge technology, as Jade Barker’s managerial revolution gathers pace.
With players still reeling from Barker’s previous innovations, the ambitious Albion supremo has embarked on the next phase of his modernisation programme: the iPad. During Albion’s 10-2 friendly win over Falcons, Barker was seen patrolling the sidelines making copious notes on the high-tech tablet – or possibly just trying to repeatedly update his Flash plug-ins.
Exactly what use the iPad is being put to is not yet known. Although speculation was rife that Barker may have been trialling ‘Half-time Team-Talker’ a new app which suggests a variety of motivational maxims managers can deploy depending on the current score in the match. Although one seasoned Albion observer cast doubt on this idea saying, “It sounded like the usual old bollocks to me.â€
The move will come as a disappointment to the many fans of Barker’s “Little Princess†notebook which had previously been the repository of all Albion’s accumulated tactics and strategy. The mystery of what lay within its covers sparked furious debate amongst Albion players, and several covert attempts to sneak a look at it contents.
Barker’s use of a children’s notebook also led to a wild conspiracy theory that Albion players were actually being held hostage to the tactical whims of his daughters. A belief given some credibility when Barker once announced a midfield pairing of Rastamouse and Peppa Pig before quickly correcting himself.
Speaking on condition of anonymity, one Albion player said: “I’ve nothing against the future, I just don’t want to see it arrive any time soon.â€