John Terry is not the only Premiership footballer to have odd toiletry habits before a big game.

Roberts: Defied medical explanation

Roberts: Defied medical explanation

The Albion has long been home to many players with perculiar toiletry ticks. The most notorious of squad member remains Jon Roberts whose freakish metabolism has defied explanation by medical science. Roberts has become well know to Clapham retailers for his destructive bowel movements brought on by the looming kick off. In fact some cafes in the area do not now open until after 10:30 and Albion have kicked off.

Manager Jade Barker has what might be considered the opposite problem as he is unable to use “unfamiliar premises”. Albion’s player of the year James Rothwell sensitive cheeks do not take kindly to Wandsworth Council supplied toilet paper so has his own match day supply of eucalyptus-infused, double quilted, velvet tissue for his pre-match ablutions. 

Rothwell it should be remembered was, until Usain Bolt, considered the fastest man on earth after he made a famous pre-match dash to the changing rooms to deal with a “personal emergency”.

At least Rothwell was able to make it to the changing rooms and deal with matters in the appropriate place. Not every member of the Albion squad has been so fortunate or considerate as Stew Lauder and Dave McPhee can testify. And a cubicle previously inhabited by Jindy Mann remains the only battlefield which a former senior military commander had to make a tactical retreat from.

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