New season! New start! New hope! To halftime at least.

Albion started their 2017/18 league campaign with a thumping from SWAG, with it all being documented on film by Albion’s own Nick Broomfield, Chaz Baxendale.

The best “Twigg”? You decide.

The Albion started brightly with some slick passing from the midfield and forwards, in particular from Will in centre midfield. It was one of the wee man’s through balls which allowed Chaz to break clear, round the goalie and slot in, to put the Albion 1 nil up on the half hour mark. Drought, what drought!

The first half finished with SWAG getting a foothold in the game and eventually equalising with a fantastic scissor kick.

SWAG started the second half as they finished the first, with the Albion being under constant pressure from the whistle. Following a foul nearly 30 yards from goal, the SWAG left back stepped up to fire a freekick at the Albion goal. Whilst the shot at first appeared tame, it bounced around the 6 yard box and sprung up and over the diving Luke in the Albion goal.

Later investigations revealed that the ball bounced perfectly on a twig, causing the ball to fly up and leave the Albion 2-1 down.

Shortly after the restart, Albion right back and debutant Borja challenged for a high ball and fell awkwardly onto the deck. Borja needed to leave the field for immediate treatment, which was provided by Stew in the form of a sling and safety pin. Whilst Albion first aider, Bill filmed the whole proceedings before eventually helping secure the sling.

I’m not sure what happened after this as I walked Borja to get an Uber to St. George’s, I just know when I returned the score was 5-1 to SWAG.

At least I got to see the last goal, which made it 6-1 to SWAG.

Despite a dispiriting result and in Albion tradition, we still voted for MOM and HL.

Borja and Luke tied third with a vote a piece, whilst Will and Chaz tied second with 3 votes each. However, starting up from where he left off last season, Woody won the season’s first MOM with 4 votes.

Henri Leconte was split three ways, firstly with the SWAG #14 picking up a vote for “looking like the kid from Deliverance”.

In second place came the “twig”, for providing a great assist for SWAG’s second goal.

Tied in first with 4 votes each, were Albion first aider Bill and Chazza “Ford Coppola”, both for offenses involving a camera. Firstly, Bill for filming Borja as he left the field in agony and then for Chaz “M Knight” Baxendale documenting the collapse of the Albion and filming the warm-up from behind a lamppost.

The video documentary is soon to be released in the club shop, along such classics as “5 Yards : The Complete Collection of passes by Neil Joliffe”, “High and Wide : The Complete Collection of free kicks by Jindy Mann” and “The Only Way is Nick Evans : Ibiza Pre-Season Tour 2016/17 (UNCUT)”.

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