Parklife Striker : Not too happy

Albion could have been forgiven for approaching their penultimate game of the season against Parklife with a sense of complacency.  The annual task of simply having more players than one other team (also known as ‘staying up’) was complete and their final game against Hammersmith Town scheduled in alongside the completion of Crossrail sometime in 2026.

Instead, riding the wave of a recent upturn in form, Albion looked to make amends for the away performance against Parklife and starting brightly, snapping into challenges and looking to exact revenge for that awful Christmas parody single.  After the opening exchanges Albion looked to assert their dominance and Woody – no doubt angry that he didn’t get MoM last week despite being away – seized on a second ball in the Parklife box only to be hauled down.  Joliffe stepped up and put the ball to the keeper’s right.
Moments later, Woody – likely still angry – seized on another ball and was hauled down again.  Joliffe stepped up and put the ball to the keeper’s right.  The referee blew for encroachment and the penalty had to be retaken.  Joliffe stepped up and put the ball to the keeper’s right. 2-0.
Albion kept up the pressure and Chaz was unlucky not to usurp Alex Wichelo in the goalscoring charts when the Parklife keeper tipped over from point blank range.  No further scores before half time.
Albion fought throughout the second period, missing a handful of a good chances but crucially remaining sturdy at the back.  This, much to the frustration of the Parklife striker who, after rounding on his own team, decided to leave the field in a strop on the final whistle.  Presumably it’s a long drive back up to Stoke.
MOM was closely contested by the Albion midfield.  Will Carlisle picked up a couple of votes, one for ‘nerves of steel Neil’ and one, somewhat socialistically, for the ‘whole team’.  Josh takes it this week for a top performance and having curly hair.
Henri Leconte saw a number of nominations for the oppo’s grumpy striker questioning whether he actually ‘wanted to play for Parklife’ and one to Neil for reckless spitting on a football pitch.  However the absolute runaway winner this week was Sean for ‘being at a yoga retreat/being at a meditation retreat/ being a wet lettuce and going to the meditation retreat/being at a meditation retreat to re-align his body’.  Well played.
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