Albion progressed through to the semi-finals of the Marcus Lipton Cup by producing a 7 nil thrashing of AFC Putney B.

“OOOOO”, “AAAAAA” “Jade Barker”

At times the attacking play was a joy to watch, with the front 6 on the attack at every opportunity and this was reflected in the Man of the Match voting. However, we start with defenders as Stew and Simon picked up a vote apiece and joining them in joint third place was Nick Milne also with a vote.

Despite scoring 4 of the 7, Harry came in second place with 3 votes with this week’s winner being Josh with 4 votes for another vintage midfield performance.

Henri Leconte was the proverbial 2 horse race, with the ref picking up a couple of votes – possibly for not wanting to leave the centre circle, not wanting to use linesmen or not really wanting to be there at all.

I should maybe have opened the article with commentating that Jade was in attendance.This would have given everyone a clue as to who might win this week’s Henri Leconte.

Ahem! Jade picked up 6 votes for his sensual topless back massage on the opposition keeper (the keeper was topless not Jade). Not a stranger to aromatherapy and holistic remedies, Jade produced a secret bottle of “Sex Panther” and went to work on injured muscles.

Unfortunately, the keeper didn’t recover and had to leave the field of play – albeit with a hard-on.