Albion beat Huracan 4-2 in the Marcus Lipton Cup. Read all about Lord Baranby’s first ever goal for the Albion, Simon goal kick technique, and where Jindy sends football to hibernate for the winter. Read Vilem’s full match report now!

Albion vs Huracan 4:2 (2:1 at h/f)
Marcus Lipton Cup, January 16th 2011‬

Albion progressed to the next round of the Marcus Lipton Cup with fairly comfortable win over lower division side called after famous Argentinian football team. Albion famously made semi-finals of M. Lipton Cup back in 08/09 season, when they were defeated by now rivals De Novo. This was in front of a record crowd of about 20 north German Ultras, players’ parents, wags, schnitzels and many bratwursts.

Evans: Benched

Evans: Benched

This Sunday, despite being 1:0 down to an early goal, Albion quickly equalised and then took the matters into their own hands.‬ This was unusually warm January Sunday morning. As this was second game after the Christmas break, no more excuses regarding fitness or lateness were accepted. This must be the only reason why Albion’s resident lad Nick Evans was dropped to the bench once he arrived at 9.35 am. Evans claimed to have texted and called the gaffer, but found no sympathy.

This wasn’t the first incident involving gaffer’s mobile phone this week.  Earlier in the week, police was called into a house in Balham area where an unnamed male in his late 30s was interviewed over pictures stored on his mobile phone. These pictures were of young ish males wearing a black and blue football kit. Full investigation is on going.‬
Today, Albion had only 13 players, but 13 officially ‘not bad’ players. Potentially, the only weakness on the paper was a goalkeeper. Albion’s current number one Billiam Blaney Anderson is still recovering from plastic surgery on his nose. And his finger too.‬ Simon said he’d be a goalie, so he was. Everyone appreciated his gesture, but also worried. About his goal kicks at least.

Formation was 4 – 1 – 3 – 2 and the line up was: Abbott – Twigg, Day, Lauder, Cruyff – McCue – Turner, Mann, Palac – Leslie and Pemberton. On the bench was Evans and Thomas.

There was an unusually long pre match talk by the gaffer, which also unusually made at least a bit of a sense. Albion were warned to switch on and concentrate right from the start, therefore not to repeat last week, when Albion conceded very early after a Westminster counter attack. Also, throw in takers were assigned and players’ positioning to prevent another counter attack was confirmed. Pre match talk was finished by Barney popping up with one hell of a Guiness fart. Warm up was fairly uneventful. It just felt bit weird, playing as ‘away team’ on Clapham Common. Oh yes, and Slater’s plasbag was suddenly handy to tidy up proper dog sausage. Well done to him.
Referee was brother of Vladimir Beschastnykh. Game on. Albion started brightly. There were few decent passing moves, which gave us an early confidence. Huracan, despite allowing Albion to pass well, also managed few moves. In about 10th minute, there was a first test for Albion’s stand in keeper. Cross from the left, Simon couldn’t quite adjust his long limbs and to bend down quick enough and the ball bounced off him. Stew was right there too, as Vilem was, unfortunately, bounce of the ball was kindest to Huracan striker who poked it easily in, 0:1 down.

Albion responded very positively and continued to knock the ball around well. Especially on the right wing as there was a strong side wind, making it more difficult to use left side (and because no one is able to SWITCH it you sausage munchers!) Dunc, Matt and both strikers had a lot of possession there. Rich was put through few times and should have really equalised following one on one with keeper.

Soon, Steve was through, exchanged passes with Rich, who crossed or took a shot, ball deflected off defenders and fell to unmarked Dunc. Dunc smashed it just like he smashed that toilet in The Pavement cafe, 1:1. As I was also involved in few passing moves, I noticed how well this was going. There were many decent touches from the likes of Jindy, Will or Stew, which I found excellent. It’s just that usually at these times, when there’s an opportunity to knock the ball around, Albiones often choose other options. Like hitting the ball anywhere forward.

Mann: Squirrels rested easy this week

Mann: Squirrels rested easy this week

There were quite a few shots too – Stew had a 50 yarder saved by the cars travelling down the A3. Jindy had a good shot and another volley I think. Albion should have been up when Rich run away and caused a hurricane in Huracan’s defence. But while adjusting his body to finish with his more comfortable right foot, he missed the opportunity. Rich still managed to keep the ball and squared it across the box to totally unmarked Jindy. Closest to Jindy was the goalie, now retreating back from Rich, but still metres away. Jindy probably remembered how he sent a ball to hibernate on a tree over the winter and didn’t want to repeat this. And again, it looked like he had buckets of time to finish.

So to be safe, Jindy took a touch to control the ball with his right foot, hoping it would land at his left and he could smash it. Nope. Ball landed again at his right foot, Jindy possibly panicked now and quickly ‘tickled’ the ball towards the goal. Goalie checked his emails, called his mother, ordered a full English with Hollandaise sauce at The Pavement and then dramatically slid across the goal to save Jindy’s shot. His momentum carried him into the goal while holding the ball and he desperately threw the ball for a corner. What a shocker.

From the ensuing corner Rich (I think) smashed the ball in. But the goal wasn’t deemed legitimate due to some pushing in the box. Huracan’s goalie had a poor goal kick, while their players didn’t seem to have a height advantage either (apart from one centre back and the skipper) So most of the goal kicks were returned towards Huracan’s goal. Vilem won quite a few headers – had to be noted as doesn’t happen too often. Simon didn’t have that much to do. There were ‘only’ few goal kicks to take, which was the worst for Simon actually. His first goal kick was very good, but the rest looked like a 5 years old kid with a silly haircut kicking the ball around his back yard. On a positive note, Simon was great coming off the line and quickly starting many attacks by rolling the ball to the wings.

One of the balls ended up with Vilem, who exchanged it with Will, Jindy and Stew, and then put a through ball towards Rich with outside of his right boot. Jon Peperami Stanley would have been proud of that one. Rich knocked it towards Steve, who controlled the ball and then took a left footed shot. Post and out, but excellent Albion move which involved good 7 people.

Soon another Albion corner came, from which Barney scored his first ever Albion goal. In the post match interview for Trim Channel Lord Barnaby said:

”]Day: Smashed controlled volley [off his shin, weakly, and took two deflections before trickling in]“A corner was whipped in by Vilem to the middle of the goal.  It was a poor corner, which was made to look good by the Albion attackers who flicked it on three times. I knew that I could have got there first and could have powered a header into the top corner, but I decided that Rich needed all the assists he could get and that my first goal for Albion needed to be a precise controlled volley, which Jindy would have been proud off after his three yard nightmare miss early in the game when he was so worried about hitting squirrels that he instead decided to try and roll the ball in. So as the corner came in, I allowed Rich to win the header which went straight up, I judged my position perfectly as the keeper sent a weak punch in my direction. I controlled it on my thigh and it seemed to take an age to come down, the defenders were rushing towards me to close me down, I made a slight faint to my left to put the defenders of balance and then smashed a volley past the goal keepers left. The celebration was a bit of a blur but I have been told it will go down in Albion folklore for being like no other. Lots of screaming and mass huddle in the corner.”

Albion was 2:1 up. And could have been up on yellows, possibly red cards too. Andy, playing in The Dave Role, adopted Dave’s agricultural tackling. There was one or two meaty challenges, followed by feeling Huracan player’s forehead with his own forehead. No head butts, but probably lucky to stay on the pitch. Half time 2:1.
For the second half, it was decided that Simon is more valuable as a centre midfield. So Matt went in the goal. Midfield was reshuffled to – McCue – Palac, Abbott, Mann. Huracan also made a change or two. Their no 7, who clearly spoke little English, had a decent left foot. He happened to get better of Dunc on two occasions and hit two great half volleys that looked very dangerous. Nick Evans came on for Andy McCue in 50th minute. Midfield was reshuffled again in a desperate attempt to accommodate ageing skipper Jindy Mann, this was – Mann – Evans, Abbott, Palac. Albion continued to play well, and it felt like we were in control. But kinda fragile control, as there was only one goal difference.

At about 65th minute, Jindy could choose which wing he could pass the ball to. As he’s very left footed, it’s only one way he could kick the ball, and that’s right wing. Evans took on the full back (Editorial note: he was already in behind the full-back thanks to the quality of the through ball) and then crossed towards Steve, who with his first touch took a shot. The ball flew past the keeper into bottom left corner, 3:1 up.

Slater: Promises a rabona before the end of the season

Slater: Promises a rabona before the end of the season

Albion now played with such confidence and comfort, that even the traditional British left back Slater turned to show boating. Slater, on Albion’s half, closed down by Huracan’s players, facing Albion’s goal and with no option to pass the ball to… Albiones put their heads down and raced to defend as everyone thought Slater had no option, but to give the ball away. But Slater suddenly produced breathtaking Cruyff turn. And if that wasn’t enough, Slater than executed an inch perfect 30 yards pass to Steve. What a shocker.
In about 70th min Don came on for Rich. Soon, Don won a header and put Vilem through, which was to be one on one with goalie. But ref said Don fouled. Don couldn’t believe and Vilem called ref ‘effing idiot’ in frustration. Not acceptable really, but ref only warned Vilem. In another 10 minutes, ref made up another foul and free kick vs Albion. As opposition skipper moved the ball few metres forward to take the kick, Vilem moved the ball back to where it meant to be, only to have the ball moved back again. This all repeated again. Ref didn’t take this kindly and booked Vilem for time wasting.

From this free kick Albion failed to clear the ball and Huracan sub was able to score past Matt, 3:2 up with 5 minutes left. Albion didn’t allow further drama though. Matt threw the ball down the wing to Vilem, who passed down the line to Steve, Steve beat his defender and crossed the ball into the box. Ball got deflected and felt nicely into the path of sprinting Nick Evans. Nick hit it with his first touch, great half volley, right into the corner, 4:2, game done. Nick showed everyone how to celebrate… He sprinted towards the corner flag, screaming like if Palace played Crawley Town, while raising his arm like Alan Shearer use to. Sadly, none of the Albiones joined him.
Following the game, gaffer explained how well Albion played and how lucky Vilem and Andy were to stay on the pitch – as ref had a chat with Jade. The lesson here for everyone is that whilst aggression and competitiveness is definitely part of the Albion ethos, there’s a line which should not be crossed. Albion have a reputation for being hard but also fair, and long may it continue. Bring on Bath Old Boys!

  1. #1 by Francesco Totti on 19 January 2011 - 4:18 pm

    I was also to mention, that now, once Barney scored… statistically… Albion player waiting the longest to score a goal is (excluding goalies)….. probably Stew.

    Matt and Myles haven’t scored yet, but haven’t been around as long as Stew.
    Slaternator scored last season, Dave did this, Simon did 2 seasons ago…
    Andy in pre season, all others did not long ago.

    Stew’s goal won him bags of CDs though, it was the game when Jade said the famous speech about sunday being God’s day vs Devils etc and James rushed to Heathrow to pick up his wag instead of playing second half. 3/4 seasons ago? Stats don’t lie.

(will not be published)